I love screwing up people’s favorite songs. Here’s one I wrote in honor of Mrs. Claus. Actually, I wrote it last year, but it was a little past Christmas time, so I thought I’d wait to put it out there till now. You can listen to my version of it… or just read the lyrics. A little warning – it’s not exactly safe for kids or church or too loudly in your cubicle. There aren’t any swear words… just questionable subject matter.

Oh, and I’m singing (in character) which is terrible, terrible, terrible (but it’s supposed to be).

Mrs. Santa (to Santa Baby) by Fuzz Martin

Lyrics after the jump

(more…)

For Christmas, I got a video of my daughter made from URStar.com. You upload a photo of your child, and they put his or her face in the video. It’s just like the elfyourself.com concept, except it’s 35 minutes long, and the kid’s mouth doesn’t move.  There is no plot and the voices are quite horrible, but she loves it and it is super cute. What a great idea!

Here’s to a wonderful Christmas for you all! Thank you for visiting.

Okay okay okay… these are too fun!

 Scrooge Yourself

Hahahahahahaha…

This is silly!!!

Go Elf Yourself

Post yours in the comments!!!

I taught myself a pretty lucrative trick this Christmas shopping season. When you buy something online, before you check out, do a Google search for “Name of the Retailer You’re Shopping At” “Offer Codes.” Yeah, I saved a ton of money and got a ton of free shipping that way this year. Is it cheating? Nah.

Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait until after Christmas to tell you which retailers I successfully pulled this off at – since certain readers would be able to guess their presents. I assure you, however, that it worked at 100% of the places that I have purchased products from online.

You’re welcome.

I found this ad on WalMart.com to be pretty misleading:

Uhm, I’m pretty sure you can’t get an iPod Nano for $24.53.  I know it says, “from $24.53,” but they should have a photo of the $24.53 mp3 player, then. That’s just my theory.

Black Friday wasn’t all that dark. Nobody got shot while trying to pilfer a parking spot. There were no cat fights over the last pair of XL begonia bloomers (though I did try to convince Tracy to start one of those kinds of fights just for effect). And, while there were some places that had obviously been picked pretty clean, the selection of items available between about 12:30PM and 4:30PM was still pretty good. I got a ton of my shopping done, and had a great time just taking in the experience. I kinda wish I would have had to break up a fight or two… between women shopping for this awesome puppy handbag (left, $50) at Boston Store.
Do you women seriously buy stuff like that?  Oh, you must, it’s sold out at BostonStore.com. I’ll have to go back for one of those when Tracy isn’t with me.  Merry Christmas!!!

I guess it’s better than Black Tuesday?

If you’re going to do any shopping online, might I suggest shopping at Amazon.com? They’re deals are going on from 8am till 8pm, which is great since you don’t have to get up super early… unless, of course, you live on the west coast. Oh, and if you click on this link – Amazon.com Black Friday Deals – then I’ll get a little commission off of your sale. Yes, it’s shameless, but I’m a single dad and full-time student… consider clicking through my link your little Christmas gift to me.

Santas in Australia have been warned against saying, “Ho Ho Ho,” because it is “offensive to women.” They are instead instructed to say, “Ha Ha Ha.” WTF?

From Yahoo:

SYDNEY (AFP) – Santas in Australia’s largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas’s traditional “ho ho ho” greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney’s Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say “ha ha ha” instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use “ho ho ho” because it could frighten children and was too close to “ho”, a US slang term for prostitute.

“Gimme a break,” said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.

“We are talking about little kids who do not understand that “ho, ho, ho” has any other connotation and nor should they,” she told the Telegraph.

I don’t want to get on a soapbox, here, but there is a radio station in Milwaukee that is playing Christmas music already. There are a few things about this that really get my goat:

1. They started playing the music November 1st. I thought, at first, they were just making a mockery of stations that start playing Christmas music earlier and earlier every year, but then realized that they were just making a mockery of themselves… and they were actually going to stick with it.
2. The station in question only plays a nonsecular Christmas song once every couple hours. And… it’s usually the same tired version of Celine Dion singing, “O Holy Night.”
3.  There’s something to be said for being a first mover in a market… but whoring religion isn’t a great P.R. move. (of course, this will still end up working for them, monetarily.)

Again, you won’t hear Christmas music on my station until Thanksgiving. I’m sorry, but one month is as far out as I’ll start.

When I was a kid, Snoopy and the Peanut Gang were my FAVORITE. Now that I’m a grown up (kinda), I really like the show, Scrubs. Imagine my delight when I stumbled upon this little mix up from the Scrubs 2003/2004 Christmas party. It’s A Charlie Brown Christmas, dubbed over by the Scrubs cast. Marvelous!