Fuzz Martin :: FuzzMartin.com

Note to Restaurants

Wednesday, September 10th, 2008 by Fuzz

Anytime you refer to one of your menu items as, “______’s ’soon to be famous’ _______,” it is going to fail — miserably. It’s kinda like the fat girl you see at the mall with the shirt that says, “hot.” Uhm - no. You’re not. Sorry. The correct answer was: FAIL.

Unless, of course, your cooks are not washing their hands before preparing your “soon to be famous ______.” Then, as a display of your good grammar, you should add the correct prefix and name it, “______’s soon to be INfamous ______.”

Or just call it, “botulism.”

Examples: “Johnny’s Botulistic Nachos!,” “Danny’s ’soon-to-be-infamous’ Cooks’ Fingers!,” and my personal favorite, “Jose’s Infamous Boogersonyour Taco Platter.”

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Rethink…X

Friday, April 25th, 2008 by Claude

With the whole “Go Green” mantra being dished out by every advertiser under the sun, I have seen a lot more tv and print spots with the tagline “Rethink, X”. Where X is the service that the advertised brand provides.

Hey advertisers…listen up!

The only reason we thought a certain way about your service before was BECAUSE YOU TOLD US HOW TO THINK THAT WAY ABOUT IT! WE (as the consumer) do not need to rethink anything, YOU are the ones that need to rethink your service and stop baraging the consuming public with messages of our shortcomings about having to re-program our worlds.

A Windex commercial recently said something to the effect of “we have developed a new formula that is safer for the environment and it cleans glass better than the original formula”.

NO WAY? Amazing that you only found this more efficient (and eco-friendly) formula after the green-meanies got all over your ass for contributing to the polluting of our planet. It would have been a tragedy to find a better product to give consumers until absolutley necessary.

I have a message for consumers. Rethink the way advertising affects your purchases.

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