…there is no way in hell you would ever catch me doing anything like this. These guys are nuckin’ futz.

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

H/T: Dieter Spears

A few weeks ago, I told you that I had some big career news that I wasn’t able to make immediately public. Well, last night I got the call, and now I can officially tell you that I will be the new track announcer for the Slinger Super Speedway.  This is a tremendous opportunity, and I thank Todd and Wayne for giving me the chance at this time-honored position.  Filling Todd Behling’s shoes will be a tall order, but I will do my best.

So come out and join me at the track this season. 2009 Slinger Speedway Schedule

Make that two in a row for Matt Kenseth! You are the MAN, Matt! Wooooooo! What a fun race to watch. After the last pit stop, it was just awesome racing.

I’m already sick of all the talk on how they should, “change the rules,” simply because Matt Kenseth won the rain-shortened race at Daytona. Rain shortens races every single year in NASCAR. Why should one race (the fourth rain-shortened Daytona in NASCAR’s history) dictate a rule change? Answer: it shouldn’t.

It has been about the most boring weekend to ever fall upon the face of the Earth. So, I decided that I was going to hunker down and attempt to watch the Daytona 500, this year. I didn’t make it that far before falling asleep on the couch. Rough life.

Anyway, my man, Matt Kenseth won the race. Outstanding. I wish I would have stayed awake long enough to watch it.

Perhaps I’ll catch the next race? Eh.

There is a photo circulating of the world’s greatest swimmer, Michael Phelps, taking a hit off of a huge bong at a party in Columbia, South Carolina.

While I’m neither here, nor there, on whether or not pot smokers should be ridiculed as heavily as we Americans tend to ridicule them, I do think that Phelps is dumbass. He has tons of endorsement deals, right now, there are countless children that look up to him, and he has to train for the 2012 Olympics.

His excuse:  “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way”  Uhm… okay.

From a PR standpoint, smoking a gigantic bong isn’t going to net any positive rewards, so why do it? Smoking a gigantic bong with a bunch of stoner college kids with credit card bills and cell phone cameras is an even dumber idea.

At least he didn’t blame it on A.D.D., right?

…but man, does Barack have charisma. That interview with Matt Lauer was just fun to listen to. And the fact that he referred to Jessica Simpson’s “weight battle” was just too funny.

President with socialist tendencies vs. Book with anti-socialist message

Shepard Fairey is a fantastic artist and a huge Barack Obama supporter. Recently, he designed the covers of George Orwell’s classics, “1984″ and “Animal Farm” for Penguin Books. I think it’s both ironic and contradictory.

What a horrendous weekend for sports in Wisconsin. First, the Badgers get beat by Ohio State. Then the Brewers get knocked out of the playoffs. While that was going on, the Packers were getting beat at home by the Falcons (Mason Crosby – FAIL). And a little while ago, Matt Kenseth got caught up in a big wreck at Talledaga.

Oh, and my Fantasy Football Team is getting trounced again this week. I had possibly one of the best rosters ever… but thanks to injuries, it’s been feeble.

This weekend wasn’t pretty.

Awesome news! The Milwaukee Brewers have signed a deal with the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, making the Low ‘A’ minor league ball club a Milwaukee Brewers affiliate through 2012! I have been a huge fan of watching the Timber Rattlers for a few years, now, but I always thought it was counter-productive cheering for a team that fed the Seattle Mariners. Now I can cheer knowing that the boys who play for the T-Rats may become Brewers someday.

Yup – Toast. Gone. Fired. Nixed.

It kinda reminds me of this song, “it’s just a little too late, a little too wrong, and I can’t waaaaait.”

Anyway – hopefully the Brewers can pull through and salvage a playoff berth.

Hat Tip: My Twitter bretheren.

Link: JSOnline.com

That’s the Brewers in a free fall. Ugh!

From the Brewers’ website:

With Hurricane Ike causing severe weather conditions throughout the Gulf Coast, Major League Baseball has moved two games of the series between the Astros and Cubs to Miller Park.

The series will include a single game tomorrow, Sunday, September 14, and another on Monday, September 15.

The Astros will be the home team for both contests, which were originally scheduled to be played at Houston’s Minute Maid Park from Friday through Sunday.

I’m actually quite convinced that the commentators are a) referring to Brett Favre more than Aaron Rogers, and b) referring to Brett Favre more than Brett Favre was referred to IN THE GD JETS GAME!!!!

I sincerely hope that each and every game of the 2008 season does not include the “Har har har, Brett Favre, har har har, Aaron Rogers, har har har, blah blah blah,” that we’re hearing tonight. Ugh. I know, they have to talk about it — but I just don’t want to hear it all year.

While the site was down, I totally neglected to set the FuzzMartin.com fantasy football to “draft,” so, we’re kinda screwed. Sorry kids. Much love. Better luck next year. Glad it was free.

Rereading my last post about the Olympics reminded me of this song:

!!!(NSFW – IN FACT, DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK/CHILDREN/NUNS/PRUDES/ETC.)!!!

Watching this year’s Olympics has been a treat. With all of the anti-American garbage we hear day in and day out, it is nice to see us pull together and kick some international ass. The story lines behind Michael Phelps and his records, the Dream Team / Redeem Team, Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor, the gymnast from ’stAllis with the broken ankle, and countless others have just been phenomenal. I love this country!

Now that everybody is finally done talking about Brett Favre, I am open to invitations to join the FuzzMartin.com Fantasy Football Challenge. On the line is my lone-remaining FuzzMartin.com t-shirt that will go to the winner. I promise it’s not dusty. I don’t promise that it will fit.

To join the league, go to: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/ – click on the bottommost “join a league” link.

League ID: 415251
League password: fuzzy

When I have 10 people signed up, I’ll get the autodraft ready.

Oh, yeah, it’s free — in case you were wondering.

People are calling new Green Bay quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, “A-Rod.” Until that boy shaves that crazy-scruffy beard that he’s growing, I am only going to refer to him as, “A-Raj.”