I hadn’t seen the name “Tab” in stores in a LONG time. Actually, maybe I did, but ever since I saw a “60 Minutes” piece on Tab and saccharin, (circa 1980-something) it never crossed my mind that it would ever be back on the market. Well, apparently it is - and now they have an energy drink to boot.

I am not a fan of the small-can energy drinks (Red Bull, those ones that say “slim,” etc.) so I wasn’t thinking that I would dig the Tab Energy drink. Well…. it’s actually not that bad (for a pea-shooter). It doesn’t taste anything like Tab used to taste back in the saccharin days, but it is light, refreshing, not too carbonated, and it has a nice aftertaste.

****** 6/10 ED Stars

The can proclaims that Who’s Your Daddy Energy Drink is: “The King of Energy.” I was hoping to see something from Annheiser-Busch tattooed on the side, too… but I didn’t. I hope the Budweiser people don’t bring they fury of their lawyers against the start-up energy drink company, but I digress.

Touting your product as the “King of Energy” when you don’t have as many energy supplements in your high-fructose corn syrup ridden soda water, compared to your more formidable competition, is a pretty grand statement. As far as taste goes, it’s not super bad, but it is very sugary as if it were just a soda and not really a true energy drink.

I will not drink “Who’s Your Daddy” energy drink ever again. I feel like I just pounded down a Pepsi. Though the taste is more of a fruity flavor, it just felt too much like a soda to me. If I wanted a soda, trust me, I wouldn’t have spent $2 for a can of it.

Luckily, I can write my energy drinks off now thanks to the fact that I actually make a little money off of the website. Thank you, IRS.

And “no thank you,” WYD Energy Drink.

###THIS “ENERGY DRINK” ACTUALLY MADE ME MORE TIRED DUE TO ALL THE CORN SYRUP!!! -1 MORE STAR!###

*** 2/10 ED Stars

I decided to drink the Jeff Gordon 24 Energy Drink (made by Pepsi) merely for the sake of reviewing it on FuzzMartin.com. Initially, I assumed I was going to despise JG24 as much as I despise Jeff Gordon as a NASCAR driver. The drink, however, wasn’t all that bad. It is an orange/tangerine-flavored drink with all of the same supplements (taurine, guarana, ginseng) as the others on the market. The flavor tastes a lot like an orange soda, without all the fizz. It’s actually rather delicious. As for the real Jeff Gordon… well… that’s just sick! C’mon now!!!

I am going to give this 7 out of 10 stars, but please note that I will not be purchasing any more of this drink simply because I don’t want anybody else to see me drinking something with Jeff Gordon’s name on it. Now… if they had a Matt Kenseth Energy Drink… that I could get in line with.

******* 7/10 ED Stars

I know this is normally Claude’s department, but I got my hands on some “new” energy drink at the radio station the other day, and I thought I would give it a shot. Actually, it was on sale for $4 for a 4-pack, so I thought even if it was bad and I was able to choke down two cans, I’d still get my money’s worth. Most energy drinks cost about $2 per 16-ounce can. Wildlife Energy Drink is no exception, except it was on sale through our station’s “shopping show.”

At first glance, Wildlife ED looks just like any of the top energy drinks on the market. Across the top of the can it tells you all of the guarana, taurine, L-carnitine, ginseng, and B-vitamins that it offers. But, this can also has a silhouette of a man killing a pheasant, and a dog looking on in anticipation. Poor bird. j/k.

The can says that it is “produced under the authority of the Wildlife Beverage Company,” which I’ve obviously never heard of till now. I’m starting to wonder if there is a company that just makes all of these and slaps a label on it for Monster and some of the other companies. The layout of the can is exactly the same as that of the Monster cans (note the way that the supplements are listed along the lip of the can.).

As far as the actual contents go… eh… it’s alright. If I was at a convenience store and my only choices were Wildlife or Red Bull or any of the Sobe drinks, I’d definitely go with Wildlife. It’s not quite on the level of Monster or Rockstar, but it is good enough. There is a little bit of a “floral” kind of hue to it. At times you might think you are drinking a Monster that somebody dipped a dandelion into, but it’s not that noticeable.

***** 5/10 ED Stars

I am headed back to work, today, after 1 week off for Paternity leave.  My employer is nice enough to let me take 1 full week, then 2 weeks of half-days!  I figured I should get back to posting something here, so here are my Top 5 Items a new Dad shouldn’t be without.

1) Dreft and a washing machine 
2) Diaper Genie II (easy in, easy out, no stinky house)
3) Wal-greens (for their fast photo processing, energy drinks, etc)
4) Rockstar Energy Drink (comes in handy for those all-nighters!)
5) Point-and-shoot digi cam (nothing is worse than missing a moment!

Here’s a cool toy that will show you how much of your favorite energy drink/coffee/soda/etc. it would take to kill you. I’m sure it’s not completely accurate… but it’s sure fun to play with.

http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/

Here is what it would take to kill me:

• Monster Energy Drink (my fav): 121.88 cans
• Rockstar Zero Carb (my 2nd fav): 47.40 cans
• Starbucks Grande Coffee: 45.87 cups
• Diet Pepsi:  473.96 cans

I couldn’t find a picture of the Orange can, so I had to go with this one. Have to say, not too bad, considering the can looks like it was designed by a 7th grader. This stuff even contains 50% Juice, better than SoBe’s healthy pomegranite crap I mentioned a few ED posts back (SICK!). Joker Orange has a bubble-gum like finish, which is surprisingly tasty.

****** 6/10 ED Stars

On the way back from Ames, IA I found this little 11oz bottle tucked into a truck-stop cooler. I am guessing the target audience of NOS Energy Drink is the same crowd who rushed out to see The Fast and the Furious (and it’s subsequently dismal failures). I do appreciate the tall and narrow plastic bottle. I don’t appreciate that it tastes just like Sobe No Fear Gold, costs 50 cents more and is 5 ounces less. Save your money, get a larger (more economical?) size, or by the Sobe NFG.

***** 4/10 ED Stars

I peeped this stuff when shopping at Target this weekend and thought I would give it a try. Now I wish I would have just kept on going. The label on this “Essnential” energy drink says “naturally energizing” with “Berry pomegranate and other natural flavors”. One would THINK that this stuff would be almost GOOD for you.

Upon further inspection, this crap only contains 7% juice. SEVEN. I bet Red Bull has some fruit juice and it’s not even claiming it’s healthy.

Ok, so it tastes like you mixed up Five Alive and some cranberry juice, but apparently it’s nowhere as healthy as that. If you like “juicey” energy drinks, buy this. If you aren’t deluding yourself into believing the energy drinks are healthy, stick with the standards.

** 2/10 ED Stars

If you are looking for cheap alternative to the “big boy” energy drinks…try Shockwave. I picked up this concoction at SuperAmerica (Speedway) gas station for only $1.50 for a 16oz-er. Kinda has a pineapple Life Saver taste. Nothing spectacular, but I wasn’t expecting much.

**** 4/10 ED Stars

This stuff is surprisingly good! It doesn’t have that spicy after-taste that normal of Rockstar, rather a soft almost no aftertaste. The initial boquet is that of light raspberry. Along the way, you can get almost taste iced tea. Perhaps, like a raspberry iced tea….and then it’s gone.

While I’m not into the no carbs/zero sugar thing, this drink is much better tasting than some of the other crappy EDs out there. Have your ED and enjoy the “healthy” aspect of Rockstar Zero.

****** 6/10 ED Stars (but Fuzz gives it 9/10)

I really wanted to give this one a chance, considering it has such a great smell! A faint blue raspberry makes this concoction very inviting, but it is plagued by the same problem the original formula has - the finish tastes like melted gummy-worms.

**** 4/10 ED Stars.

Ahhh, just polished off a Rockstar 24oz.-er. Love this stuff. Great taste, huge can, and more economical than Red Bull.

********* 9/10 ED Stars

Rockstar Energy Drink is my favorite of all EDs…so of course I am willing to try a few of their other flavours for the sake of these postings. Juiced says it’s “Energy + Juice”, including mango, passion fruit, and orange juices. While they all may be in there, mango is the one that comes through. Imagine taking 1/2 Mountain Dew, 1/2 Sprite, and 1/2 Snapple Mango Madness. That’s what you have here. Juiced is tasty if you want an orangee delight, but it’s not for my palette.

**** 4/10 ED Stars

I like to expand my horizons and try new things. Often, it comes in the way of general monotany such as new flavors of pop, variety of music (thanks for the country stuff, Fuzz!), and most recently Energy Drinks.

I know Fuzz is a big fan of the Energy Drinks, too. In tribute to the coffee-free (yet caffinated Fuzz), here is my new segment on Energy Drinks, in short ED.

This weekend I stopped at the gas station only to find they didn’t stock my favorite, RockStar. So, I went with something new. SoBe No Fear Gold. Having had the SoBe No Fear (regular), I was a little leary of this concoction. However, much better than it’s grand daddy, SoBe No Fear Gold has a nice taste. The initial smell is rather citrusy, the taste is a cross between a Mountain Dew/Grapefruit flavor, and the finish is easy with little after-taste.

I give SoBe No Fear Gold:
***** 5 out of 10 ED: Stars (edited to change from 7 to 5 stars)