After weeks upon weeks of watching Joe Schmuck Marriott torment and lie to those innocent women I found myself actually getting sick! I mean, first of all I am a busy man! I have to go to work every morning. I am planning a wedding. I am working on this website… oh and I have this little show to do!!! But what did I do? I sat around every Monday and Thursday watching Evan, Paul, and the cast of dimwits do what every reality show has done. They lead you to believe there is actually going to be something interesting on the show, only to tell you exactly what you thought was going to happen.

For instance, when Paul said that there would be a twist to the story, the entire world knew that Evan and the floozy of his choice were going to get some cash. I was actually disappointed that they only got $1 Million. I thought for sure that they would get $50 Million. When you think of it, there were 13 shows, and they had the #1 television show in the nation. Each Friends cast member gets $1 Million per show, so that’s $7 Million per episode. Multiply that by 13 episodes and you have $91 Million. So Fox is still bringing in $41 Million more than they would had they hired the cast of Friends to do the show. Imagine Ross as Joe Millionaire… of course, he is a millionaire, so the show would have had no point.

Will I watch reality TV shows ever again? Heck yes! Why? The same reason I watch NASCAR. For the crashes. Of course, that’s just My Theory!

Here’s how it is. The whole “Sarah Kozer was the star of light bondage films” thing is a load of malarkey. Fox either:

Knew about it all along
or
[pic omitted in archive]
Staged it
[pic omitted in archive]

Here’s why I feel this way. First of all, any broadcasting network that does one of these “reality” tv shows makes you sign a waiver, allowing them to know everything about you, and change things about your past that they might not like. My close friend Amanda Wild tried out for American Idol, and before she even auditioned she had to sign a waiver stating that the network could change her appearance, background information, name, or any information which would make her character more appealing to the audience. That being said, Fox knew she has starred in bondage films. If they didn’t like that about her, they would have never let her on the show. That means they thought that the publicity would help them through the February sweeps and either chose to keep her, or made up the whole story to make it more intriguing. (That’s when the tv ratings books come out.)

Evidence of Malarkey

The photo of Sarah Kozer on Fox’s website has her in this green turtleneck number. (See above photo, p.s. I am color blind, so forgive me if my colors are wrong) Conincidentally, or not, this is the same exact shirt she is wearing in the bondage pictures. (see below)

On Thursday night, 01/31/03, when Joe gave Sarah the ruby necklace he said… and I quote:
“I’m really begining to like Sarah, we’ve BONDED”

Okay, if that is not a little bit suspicious, then I don’t know what suspicious means. Espescially knowing that the show is taped months in advance and he said that on the same day that the “news” came out about the films.
This whole Joe Millionaire thing is a scam to begin with, but that’s why I like it, and watch it all the time. Either way you look at it, it’s showbiz… and that’s just my theory.